Tray-vor tray-vor tray-vor.....this is a sound that I wouldn't mind never hearing again, to me it sounds like the name of an annoying caveman, kind of like that annoying friend you have that you wish you could get rid of but at the same time you wouldn't know what to do without it because that friend is constantly helping you. Yes I am talking about my breast pump and I hate it almost as much as I love it. There is some things that people will tell you when it comes to pumping, they will tell you that first of all its not possible and you won't be able to maintain a supply, and second that its not the same as actually breastfeeding. I hate both of these, and they both are not true, what they should say is that unless you are on a rigorous schedule your supply wont last, and no its not exactly the same as actually breastfeeding but the point is you are feeding your baby and giving them the best nutrition there is to offer.
Pumping is mentally draining and it can and will take a toll on you. I told myself that I would pump but also offer my breast to Rhiannon and within a couple weeks she would rather nurse than drink a bottle, but this didn't happen. One day she nursed and I was ecstatic I called my husband told him to bury the pump and the bottles and break out the sparkling grape juice we were going to party, but when I got home and went to nurse her again she couldn't latch and I broke down in tears and beat myself up way more than I should have. Thankfully my husband came to the rescue and I was able to compose myself and start pumping again.
I do not live a normal life, I cannot just pack a bag grab my kids and go out, I cannot clean my house as quickly or efficently as I once used to do. If I do go out in public I have to puck up my pump and all the parts, pieces, and other accessories that take up a ton of space. I also have to plan my whole trip out and make sure that there is a place I can pump. While I sometimes feel isolated I know that I am giving Rhiannon the best that she can get, I also know that a year really isn't that long and one day I will give anything for her to be a baby again and to sit every 2-3 hours and pump for 20 minutes each session and just be able to look at her smiling face while I pump or see the peace that comes over her face at bedtime when I lay her down and she hears the whir of the pump.
So here I am today sitting in the floor listening to my pump wanting to smash it with a hammer, but then I look to the left of the pump and I see my baby girl smiling at me, cooing and babbling. She loves that pump so much, and it makes me love it as well. So I will let you make the decision for yourself, this is a decision that is not to be made lightly though, its emotional, time consuming, and life changing but it also has amazing rewards and you can do it and know that you are giving your baby the best they can get. Always remember that no matter which decision you make it will be the best for your baby because only you as a mother can decide what is best for your own child. Don't let anyone bully you into any certain direction, and always know that you are a good mom.
Pumping is mentally draining and it can and will take a toll on you. I told myself that I would pump but also offer my breast to Rhiannon and within a couple weeks she would rather nurse than drink a bottle, but this didn't happen. One day she nursed and I was ecstatic I called my husband told him to bury the pump and the bottles and break out the sparkling grape juice we were going to party, but when I got home and went to nurse her again she couldn't latch and I broke down in tears and beat myself up way more than I should have. Thankfully my husband came to the rescue and I was able to compose myself and start pumping again.
I do not live a normal life, I cannot just pack a bag grab my kids and go out, I cannot clean my house as quickly or efficently as I once used to do. If I do go out in public I have to puck up my pump and all the parts, pieces, and other accessories that take up a ton of space. I also have to plan my whole trip out and make sure that there is a place I can pump. While I sometimes feel isolated I know that I am giving Rhiannon the best that she can get, I also know that a year really isn't that long and one day I will give anything for her to be a baby again and to sit every 2-3 hours and pump for 20 minutes each session and just be able to look at her smiling face while I pump or see the peace that comes over her face at bedtime when I lay her down and she hears the whir of the pump.
So here I am today sitting in the floor listening to my pump wanting to smash it with a hammer, but then I look to the left of the pump and I see my baby girl smiling at me, cooing and babbling. She loves that pump so much, and it makes me love it as well. So I will let you make the decision for yourself, this is a decision that is not to be made lightly though, its emotional, time consuming, and life changing but it also has amazing rewards and you can do it and know that you are giving your baby the best they can get. Always remember that no matter which decision you make it will be the best for your baby because only you as a mother can decide what is best for your own child. Don't let anyone bully you into any certain direction, and always know that you are a good mom. 
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